very short.
hello ! okay, so this is going to be a veeeerrryy short post, as i have given myself 3 minutes to write it. it was originally 2, but i wasted one of them reading michelle's blog, so i'm giving myself another 3. (:today ... was kind of a shit day.
morning was horrible. i was sleepy and had a headache. and i mean like, i have no one to sleep on til michelle comes, cos it's weird if i sleep on jefflee, you know ==
pretty much an insignificant school day, except for maybe some deep discussion with tanya, gen and elaine in maths ( just a tad ). oh yes and i got hit twice on the face / arm in PE == i mean like EFFING FRISBEEESS.
geography, figured some stuff out, and MAN i'm so bossy. i mean like, i don't like group work, because i get really bossy. == and i'm always thinking, " OMGSH, I COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER " which is a really horrible thing to think. bah, i'm such a horrible person sometimes.
the afternoon ... was stressing. i saw someone. waved at them. got a cold wave back. what is HAPPENING ?! faaaarrrkk. i miss him.
anywho, i have like shitloads of work to do, like 3 assignments ==
i'm outie !
carla x
pdm~
hiyum, since the new generation of us are quite cool, we managed to get into quite a few life - source websites, eheheeheh. eg. fb, af, lookbook, and OMFG blogspot. and yes, as elaine said : " we're freaks ". i really quite wholeheartedly agree. buht hey, we're still awesome.
alrighty, so it seems that every PDM lesson seems to be like a high school musical soundtrack marathon. i mean like, every lesson. me & elaine zhang the schped just HSM'ing. but we're cool. like, HSM will never get old.
i'm kind of meant to be pasting in my circles in my book right now, but i'm waiting for karen to finish with the glue.
BAH short post. to finish up with my favourite quote so far :
"i look like a moose."
"but a very cute moose ! make all the boy moose go -HONKKK-"
D:
"-HONKKKK-"
i'm outie !
carla x
do you believe in love ?
hiyum ! buh, i laugh at that greeting. :Lokay, so it's 1:21 PM, i've been sitting here for about 2 hours ... fb'ing, stalking, af'ing. but i like to call it " working ". so it's all good, yes ?
NO. i am so, sick of my procrastinationising, i am so sick of getting sick of NOT getting my way ( is that vaguely understandable ? ), and i am SICK of HURTING. friday was horrible. horrible-est phone call, horrible-est news. and oh yes, have i mentioned that i really, really, really dislike cheltenhams ? with their butt ugly pink uniform. but that's not my point.
everything that i hoped for, is like, gone. i'm trying to find a tiny shred of hope i can maybe cling onto, but there's nothing. i've gone through stacks of memories, trying to reassure myself, but nothing. sure, i'll find something, but wonder if they were all empty, and fake. i don't need this type of distraction. and i don't know how to explain. it's hard to put thoughts into words. much easier to put it in music.
and me, being me, have gone on a ... binge internet - ing. i've been going through SO many websites to try distract myself. and i'd just like to post up one pic of my finds ...
innit pretty ? " do you believe in love ? "
" it's love, not santa claus. "
carla x
hello.
hello, omg i haven't posted for AAAAAAAAAGESSSS, feels like a gazibillion yearss D:gah, my life is a tad retarded right now == it seems like i haven't got a goal. like, you know how you're meant to have a goal to work towards ? well, i don't know WHAT my goal is. it's like .. do well in school ; buht that seems so ... vague. and that's like EVERYONE'S at the beginning of the year. i don't know. i'm a bit mixed up.
noo, i'm actually very mixed up. it's like i have like double personality. one side, i'm trying to be more forgiving, and i'm trying to ( keyword : TRYING ) be more loving, and be more appreciating of, like, pretty much what i have. and who i am. the other side, i'm just getting easily annoyed, and just bugged about EVERYTHING. i've been getting honestly, very, very annoyed at little, insignificant things. i mean, i get annoyed at myself. but, i can't help it. i'm just so .. irresponsible. and when i'm angry, i say things that i don't mean. and omg, i just spit out cold, hurtful words. i sometimes really can't stand myself. but it's not just me. and i'm so unbelievably SELFISH sometimes.
i can hardly even begin to TRY understand this comprehensible thing that is my life.
anywho, getting onto a slightly more positive note ( keyword being SLIGHTLY. like SLIGHTLY SLIGHTLY SLIGHTLY ) i'm completing my MATHS HOMEWORKK. :D i mean like YAYYY last year i didn't even bother LOOKING through my maths book, and now i'm all like - must finish maths hw. - and when i finish i get that like, full - proud - feeling. ehehehehe >D
right, so right now i'm like in love with jonas, esp. joe. i know you're all going to be like WHATS WRONG WITH YOUUU and everyone's like D: JOE'S SO UGLYYY buht nooooooo he's so cute. :) and oh man jonas is sooo funnaeeeee. kevin makes me and elaine like BURST out laughing. >D ehehehehehe. and they're such epic singersss.
i'm having like white song obsessionnn. :D which is uncommon. i'm kind of obsessed with vesper's goodbye by nick jonas & the administration, and also hero by sterling knight. :) and i mean like TY and creds to gen for sending hero to meeee x and sterling knight ; HE'S ALEX IN 17 AGAIN ! the guy that's his " cousin ". ngaw. he's quite cute. buht like epic smile lines. : /
anywhooooo ; status of love life ? zilch, zero, nup, nada, nothingaaaaaa. buh.
alrighty, must go. i'm outie !
carla x
crazy.
okay. hey. i haven't posted for a while ; i probably should actually be typing my ass off right now to make up for lost words. but as you can see, i'm not.i saw him this morning. i can't control what i feel anymore. there's no more ... restrictions, no one that stops me from feeling the way i do. no ... guilt to override me and tell me to STOP. it's out free now. i had put on a mask, saying no, i don't. no, i don't. i tried to believe so hard that i didn't anymore. but i know that i do.
feeling so lost.
whats wrong with this ?
carla. x
lookbook ;
alrighty. so elaine just recently introduced me to lookbook.nu and wow, i've been like looking at quite a few of the pages, ehehehe. gosh. and i found this cute asian guy with cute clothes. WHO'S ONLY 15. goshh, but you'd think that i guy that into clothes would be gay. :Panywho. today. was a very bad day. started off bad. i'd had like 5ish hours of sleep, kind of disorientated in the morning. station was tres bad. told reena my little secret, walked to school. got epicly rained on. hair like totally frizzed up. i got a taddo pissed. actually no. a lot pissed.
nothing significant @ school. except for PDM. we looked up all these piccys, so pretty 8D i want a proooo cameraaaaaaaa. forgive me, i don't even know what they're called >.> buht, hopefully as PDM goes on, i'll learn some shit :D eheheh.
after school. train was on another plat == had to walk over there. got on the train, travelled carriages like 5 times to reach our guards' carriage ( which happens to be our territory hehe ). but at the one before guard's we had to get out and go in. because of that gay guard's compartment. anywho, sylvia and me were leading, and then reena & co. disappeared D: we were like OIEHAIO EHS where are they D:
anywho, so we arrived @ normanhurst. we were sitting at the bottom ; i looked up. and guess who i saw ? HIM. we connected eyes for a moment. i had the biggest shock of my life. my heart skipped a beat, i think. i was just sitting there nervously, wondering if he's come down ... buht he went up. i admit, there was a portion of my heart that totally wanted to walk up there. but i didn't. because i'm an effing chicken. urgh. texted michelle. she confirmed my suspicions with my emotionsssss.
bus was very crowded. saw a guy with a bandaid-y thing on his nose. laughed at him. anywho, i had to stand. == got kind of dizzy. then, went to towers w/ gen because she wanted to buy something for mufti day tmlo. eh. == general pants ; i stole this pretty brochure. :D
i need to find something to wear for tomorrow. == I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BAAANDDDD :@
i'm outie !
carla x
disney.
hellooooo,holey shat haven't posted for like 238972398472383 yearss D: buht i ain't bothered to blog properly today.
i'm @ home. jigged swimming carnival. i mean, i'm not going to do anything there, so i might as well get some H/W done at home, yes ?
so far, i can't remember much. buht i've rekindled my love for disney. lion king 1 & 2 are love. argh, i downloaded all their songs ; fark i love them.
dah, kovu is so hottooo :D
omagad, i think a lion's hot. ehehehehe, i'm spak.
i'm outie !
carla. x
